(Poem by Janette you can find her spoken word video on YouTube)
So it seemed,
that it was cool,
for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands
and… ended up with him.
him, who displayed the characteristics of a
cheater, a liar, an abuser, and a thief.
So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac-arrested for
aiding and abetting,
’cause it was me who let him in,
claiming we were “just friends.”
It was already decided for me by the first date that
even if he wasn’t,
I was gonna make him “the One.”
You know… I was tired of being alone,
and I simply made up in my mind,
that it was about that time
so I decided to drag him along for the ride,
’cause I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
A virgin in the physical,
but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat,
who was tired of the wait,
so I was gonna make him “the One.”
he had a… form of Godliness,
but not much.
But, but, hey, hey, I can change him,
so I’ll take him, I mean he’s close…
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter,
not knowing the value of it’s used to be.
Arteries so clogged with my will,
it blocked His will from flowing through me.
So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
that flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back.
Through my ignorance, He saw,
so through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
to transplant Psalms 51:10,
a new heart
& a renewed right spirit within.
So now, I fully understand,
better yet, I thoroughly comprehend,
how much I need to wait
the bad thing is
that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning.
’cause in the beginning was the Word
and he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
and all he could whisper was
he couldn’t even have prayed when I needed him to,
asking him to fast would be absurd,
so, forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word.
But I know you,
you are already praying for me.
Even never having met me,
let me assure you,
I will wait
I will no longer date,
socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
to appease my boredom
or to quench my thirsty desire I have for attention and short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas.’
You know, he ‘sorta kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name: Luke,
his last name: Warm.
I won’t settle for false companionship.
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
attempting to find some closeness,
but never feeling so far, far apart
’cause, I just wanna be held.
♫ ‘Cause all I gotta do is say♫
No more ‘almost sessions’ of
‘almost coming close’
passing winks & buying drinks,
Who flirts with the ideology of,
“Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?”
I’ll stay in my bed,
and write poems,
about how I will wait for You.
he won’t even come close,
our fingers won’t even interlock,
we won’t even exchange breath,
’cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.
I will no longer get weighted down,
from so-called friends & family talks,
about the concern for my biological clock
when I serve the Author of Time.
Who is not subject to time,
but I’m subject to Him.
He has the ability to stop, fast-forward, pause, or rewind at any given time.
if we could role play,
you would be Abraham & I would be Sarah,
or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca–a servant’s answered prayer.
bone of your bone,
flesh of your flesh,
made up of your rib, Adam.
And once we meet,
like electrons, I will be bound to your nucleus,
We even speak the same math:
1 + 1 + 1 = 3,
which really equals 1 if you add Him.
We were all created in His image,
but you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect
If I were to explain what you look like,
you would have to look like a star–
a sun of the Son.
I would gain energy simply from the light that you shine on me.
I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis.
I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis,
I will wait for you.
And I will know you
because when you speak,
I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
your faith will remind me of Abraham,
your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
your heart for God will remind me of David,
your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
and your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
but your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews
or any special marks,
’cause His Word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me,
and you will find me,
the boldness of Esther
meets the warm closeness of Ruth,
where the hospitality of Lydia
is aligned with the submission of Mary,
which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.
I will be the one,
drenched in Proverbs 31,
waiting for you.
But to my Father,
my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth,
only if You should see fit.
I desire Your will above mine.
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
my heart is content with You–the One who was sent.
You are the greatest love story ever told,
the greatest love ever known.
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness,
and I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business.
I will always be Yours,
and I will always wait for You, Lord.
More than the watchmen wait for the morning,
more than the watchmen wait for the morning,
I will wait.